Shock & Sadness!!

Not a lot of people lose a full term baby. None of the women in my family has ever lost a full term baby I am the first one. I had been very optimistic about the whole kidney disease thing. I was praying that the baby would live. On May 15th, 2010 Brooklyne came in to the world at 2:30am. She was so beautiful and she even had her daddy's tan skin and black hair. After they got her stable they took her to the NICU. They worked on her for two hours but her poor little lungs were not cooperating at all. The NICU staff finally gave up on her at 4:37am. She took her last breath in my arms and her heart stopped. I was kinda weird having her die in my arms but I am glad she did. Sometimes I wish she died in my husbands arms but I know that he would never have been able to handle that. I remember the last thing I told her was she was our little butterfly and it was ok to go heaven cause she had lots of people waiting for her to get there. There are some days where everything is ok and there are days when the tears just flow and don't stop. I pray every day to GOD for the pain to go away some days it works and some days it doesn't and some days I have to pray more than once. I know that my faith and love in GOD will help me through anything. I also know that my husband and I have to take it one day at a time and get through it together for us both to heal.